A couple of years ago I was a completely different person. I looked at all these successful and happy people and blame their luck to… well – their luck. I thought that they where born in the right place, with the right body and beauty, and in the right family. And that I don’t.
I always thought, that I have to be this unseen puffy girl. Because I was born like I was. No one special. And so there would be never a chance to be someone special. From early on, I dreamed about writing. I have so many storys inside me to share. Storys to make people laugh, to make them cry and to make them think. I wanted to see the world, I wanted to have a family of my own. I wanted someone to tell me, I’m beautyful just the way I am. I wanted someone, to tell me that I’m smart. Funny. And that he loves me, no matter what, because I deserve to be loved. But as much as I wanted it, I felt that this would never going to happen. Because I am nobody special. Not beautyful, not smart, not funny at all. This is what I thought and this is what holds me back for years.
Today, I have that person who is telling me all that and it’s never leaving my side. Whenever I look into a mirror, she’s there. I am stronger than ever and I’m still growing. I love training, something I once used to hate. I am just about finishing my first novel, like I always dreamed about. I am smart and I no longer think, that I am not beautyful. Because I understand: Everyone is. Today I make people laugh and my courage and selfesteem always have my back.
What changed then?
One day, I realised, that to blame others or the circumstances – especially blaming life – leads me to exact one place. Nowhere. And this is a place I didn’t wanted to end up. So I did one thing: I started with what I had and I did what I could.
I don’t wanted to feel uncomfortable in my own skin, so I did something about it. I started training, I looked for help and I followed an eating plan.
And the results showed up. I’m not done yet, that will take a time, but I’m feeling good and confident in my body now.
Likewise I don’t wanted to feel uncomfortable in my appartment and in the job I had back then. Nor in my life. So I changed everything. I started to read, to train, to learn. I started living. And the results showed up.
Today, I live in an appartment, I really like. I live in a body, I really love. And I’m working to make my dreams come true, the personal ones and my business goals.
Today, I strongly believe, that I am going to live the life I have always dreamed about. Secretly, while pretending that I don’t care about any dreams.
I’m no longer hiding from life, and neither should you. I am not perfect and my setting was more than ordinary. Then I turned it to worse. I’d make mistakes. But then I turned it into a life, I really want to wake up to. Sure there are still days when I’m tired of the learning, working and fighting. But going trough theese days and making it out stronger, that’s what really drives us.
When you feeling very small at the moment, that’s okay. Then start with small. You will grow and so will your actions, your thoughts and your results.
But just start. From where you are. With what you have. And do what you can.